Journeys With GG

My New Improved Super Green Diet

Now that I've got a lot of my emotional and mental energy back, I really want to focus on my physical energy too.  So, because I don't ever want to go on some lame diet again I started working with a nutrition coach so I can actually figure out what works best for me and for my body.  I've done South Beach and Weight Watchers and even went Vegan for a while in the past, but the thing about those plans is there is always deprivation of some sort - something is getting cut out, your body knows it's getting cut out, and after a while your body rebels.  What I'm learning is that everything out there - from diets to how often you "should" eat every day to super foods, etc. - it's all a fad.  Not everything works for everyone long term.

So, what I've been doing so far is really super easy and it's tailored to me and what my body tells me.  I'm usually not hungry for breakfast until 9 or 10, but really want a hot beverage, so I start the day with a cup of herbal tea or hot water with lemon.

When I do eat I'm supposed to eat leafy greens at each meal, another vegetable, a serving of protein and a serving of grains.  It's really simple.  Oh, and I'm supposed to have a serving of sea vegetables (that's seaweed folks) every day.

The best way I'm getting greens for breakfast is by putting a big handful of spinach into the blender with a piece of fruit and half a cucumber.  Yes, this sounds weird, but it's pretty amazing how the flavor of the fruit dominates, and I've actually grown fond of the pretty green color of it. 

For the rest of the meal the combinations are easy.  I actually really like vegetables and am better at preparing them than I am at cooking meat.  I eat a lot of them but, as I've found, it's better to have a mix between the root, leafy green and nightshade varieties. Even the veggies  that I could take or leave - like radishes -  I'm finding some cool things to do with (Radish Bruschetta - who knew).

The seaweed is another story.  I love the seaweed salad you get at sushi restaurants, but Nori paper can be overwhelming.  I'm getting used to it though - crunching it up in some brown rice with chicken and mushrooms is actually pretty good and I've experimented in making some wraps with them.  I've also found these "Sea Crunchy" snacks that are pretty tasty. 

As a result so far my energy levels have definitely increased.  And my cravings have really decreased.  I have a bad sweet tooth and really in just a weeks it's pretty much vanished.  

And, that's only in the first two weeks.  This is a six-month thing I'm doing to really figure out what works best for my body and by the end of it I hope it will just be ingrained in my lifestyle and that I'll have a bunch of new recipes (and a ton of energy) to show for it.

 

My Long Journey to Find the Truth

There are times in life, where after the loss of a loved one through death or abandonment, one is at risk of becoming one of those empty shell people.  You’ve probably met one before – someone that has no gleam in their eyes, is flat, or looks sad and scared all of the time.

I was at risk for a long time.  I knew it at least and have been doing everything in my power to avoid becoming an ESP (empty shell person).  And while I didn’t have the money to buy a villa in Tuscany the way that Frances did in the movie Under the Tuscan Sun, I did know what the one major thing I needed to heal was. What I needed was to hear the truth from my ex-boyfriend about why he really ended our relationship.  I’m sure he got closure, but he left things an open-ended mess with me.

So, first, I asked.  I asked a couple of different times.  I asked several different times.  No response.  Wait – once he responded to say he was working on one, but really he was accusing me of writing some bullshit about him on some cheesy Web site where women go to post a bunch of crap about guys who have burned them.  Not my style.

Living with pain every day is hard.  Forcing yourself to find joy in something, plan something to look forward to, find one little thing to make you happy and get you through the day, can be difficult, but is necessary for survival.  Therapy helps, but no therapist can speak for an ex-boyfriend, and honestly mine was just as baffled by his avoidance of giving me the answers I needed as I was. 

I got to the point where I didn’t expect to ever get any answers, but I still had a lot of pain and I felt it would be therapeutic to share it with certain people that had loved and supported us in our relationship.  So, I asked one last time, with the FYI that if I didn’t hear anything I planned to communicate my pain, confusion, frustration and truth.  Tell me the truth, or face the consequences of mine.

I sent the email to him one morning.  I heard back in two hours.  17 months, one day and two hours.

I didn’t mean for it to be a threat, because I really didn’t think I’d get any response, and that I’d be sending my letters out.  I thought of it more as an FYI.  But, he felt threatened enough to finally give me an answer.  And that answer has freed me.

The irony is what I learned gave me even more closure that I could have expected.  I learned something really important about him and his character.  This man, who I loved and thought I would marry and raise a family with, was never willing to give me what I needed to heal when I specifically asked for it.  Instead, he would only give it out of fear that I would tell my truth.  That letter I was going to send wasn’t filled with hate for him, but was filled with my pain and my confusion about how I had and was still being treated; and it was actually filled with a lot of love and concern for him.    

Am I proud of the approach I took in the end?  No and yes. 

No, because I’d never want anyone to feel threatened by me, especially someone that I love and care about, but he did – for whatever reason my truth scared the crap out of him (probably because it was true?). 

Yes, because of what the result has done for me – I have inner peace, I no longer have to spend energy on wondering “why” all of the time, and I got my power back!  I’m still kind of flabbergasted at what’s been achieved.  No one ever thought I was going to get the answers I needed, and I had pretty much accepted the fact that I wouldn’t.  But, in my final act of “tough love” to communicate my truth in an effort to help me heal, I ended up getting the very thing I’d been pleading for.

As a result, I feel like a completely different woman, and to those that know me best there has been a noticeable change in only a few days – my tone, my energy – the risk of becoming an ESP is over.  It’s like in Lord of the Rings – Two Towers when Gandalf lifts the spell of the King of Rohan.  But of course, I faced consequences for delivering mine to him – I’ve lost a few friends on Facebook and may lose a couple more – I can live with that. 

But the strangest consequence for me is that he actually he seems quite bitter and angry with me, and I’m sure he’s bad-mouthing me to friends and family (for wanting to tell the truth y’all).  Why?  Because I finally found the strength to force the truth out of him, which based on the response could have been so easily written or spoken when we first broke up?  Because now that I have the truth he actually received a positive, upbeat thank you note from me rather than the pathetic, heartbroken requests I’d sent in the past?  At any rate, I’m okay with those consequences.  And, maybe Karma will come hit me with a few more, but I know Karma will visit him too.

Good Influences

Last night I went to a memorial celebration for my old friend and colleague Lisa Altobelli.  The most amazing thing about it was that she had such an impact on everyone - from her laugh, to her silly sense of humor to her brilliance at work - and that was clear to see as last night she brought so many people together.  There was the usual crew there that I totally expected to see, but also quite a few surprises with some people that I hadn't seen in years.

In catching up about the old days, one woman there reminded me of some advice I'd given her when she started dating a new guy.  He was nice and handsome and people could tell he really adored her but, for whatever reason, she wasn't quite convinced.  I guess what I told her was something like this, "He seems like a great guy.  You deserve a great guy, so why not open yourself up to this?  Give him a chance and see what happens."

It does sound like something I would say.  It's actually something I've done for myself.  I was really very touched that she remembered this AND that she followed my advice, as they have been happily married for several years now. 

Sometimes it's really easy to feel like we don't have any impact on or influence over people, especially those we know and care about and love.  Hearing my own advice again, years later from the person I gave it to, was really unexpected, but really awesome.  It was a nice reminder that my words do have power for good, especially when they come from the heart.